In all the online and physical events of the Finnish Polyamory and non-monogamy association we follow these guidelines for a safer space. A safer space enables everyone to have the freedom to be themselves, without being ridiculed, discriminated against or harassed.

A safer space makes everyone feel safe, welcomed and aware of measures set against unpleasant/unwanted disturbing behavior.

Maintaining the safer space is the responsibility of everyone involved in the events and activities. The Polyamory association does not tolerate any form of harassment in our activities/events.

If the event has a selected contact person in case of harassment, you can report the incident directly to them, to the event organizer or lastly to the Polyamory association. In case there is threat to safety, or someone is causing disturbance and doesn’t stop, contact the security personnel of the event venue or the police.

Measures that will be taken in case of harassment and repeated cases of discrimination: You might be asked to not participate in the discussion, asked to leave, asked to not participate in our events in the future and if necessary we’ll report the incident or call the police. If you feel that we have ruled unfairly you can bring that up with the event organizer after the event or in association events with the board

What is discrimination?

Discrimination refers to the unfair or prejudiced treatment of any group of people or individual person based on one or more of the following attributes:

  • gender
  • trans or non-binary gender expression
  • cultural or ethnic background
  • religion or other faith
  • ability
  • sexual orientation
  • age
  • nationality
  • origin
  • language
  • appearance
  • class or socioeconomic background

Discrimination can be direct or indirect, active or passive. Insufficient accessibility, harassment, sexual harassment, and inciting to discriminatory acts are all forms of discrimination.

What is harassment and inappropriate behavior?

Examples of harassment and other inappropriate conduct include aggressive pressuring, threats, bullying, isolating, and intimidating of others. Sexual harassment may refer to behaviors such as unwanted and inappropriate comments of a sexual nature, or physically approaching a person in an inappropriate way in a social setting.

The guidelines

  • Ask for consent; do not assume
    • Respect the personal space of others.
    • Do not touch anyone without asking if they’re okay with it.
    • Understand the personal boundaries of others (Ask what is okay by them?)
    • Understand that the boundaries they have for you may be different than what they have for someone else.
    • Understand also that these boundaries can be changed at any moment.
  • Be respectful towards everyone and avoid making assumptions, generalizations or interpretations (We cannot escape all assumptions about others, but we can try to become more aware of them and learn to identify our own limiting biases)
    • Give space to others and take others into consideration
    • Do not make assumptions based on appearance or action.
    • Don’t make assumptions about anyone’s sexuality, gender, nationality, ethnicity, religion, values, socio-economic background, physical health, mental health or able-bodiedness
    • Let everyone define their personal experiences in their own way. 
    • Listen to others and try to understand them.
    • Meet others with an open mind, be kind, and demonstrate compassion and acceptance to both others and yourself.
  • Respect diversity
    • Let everyone be themselves. Remember that you are not familiar with everyone’s abilities, experiences and boundaries.
  • Don’t humiliate or embarrass others. Refrain from gossiping and judging others’ appearance.
  • Do not repeat in your speech, actions or behavior any stereotypes based on another person’s qualities or characteristics.
  • Give room and include others
    • Together we create time for the involvement of everyone. Ask others along and let them take part. There are myriad forms of involvement, and it can be or look like anything at all.
    • Do not force anyone to participate in suggested activities or topics. If someone doesn’t want to participate in something, it’s good manners to check they are not pressured into participating as peer pressure is a thing.
    • Make sure everyone has the opportunity to participate in conversations and activities. 
    • Respect the privacy of others and treat sensitive topics with respect.
    • Try to use generally understandable and approachable language, and to communicate in several languages if necessary.
  • You can give appropriate and constructive feedback on inappropriate behavior.
    • Listen to any feedback given to you. 
    • Try to be open about the feedback you receive and take it into account in the future. 
    • Apologize if you have hurt or offended someone.
    • Try to forgive others if they unintentionally offend you.
  • If you notice anyone acting inappropriately or in any other way making the space unsafe please bring that up with the person in question. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that yourself, inform the contact person or event organizer to handle the situation.
    • For example: ”Sanna, could you give me a little more space, I don’t appreciate you sitting so very close?” or ”Sami, could you please stop interrupting Henkka, I’m interested in what he has to say as well”
  • Self-assessment, disagreements, and inappropriate behavior
    • Interactions can prompt complicated emotions. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, take a break and take a deep breath. Critically observe your own behavior and change it as needed. We can and are allowed to disagree respectfully with one another. Inappropriate behavior will always be dealt with, and will not be tolerated.
  • Filming, documenting, and publishing
    • Ask for consent before photographing/ filming activities or people.
    • Be clear why you are documenting the moment and where you will publish the material.
    • Allow those who do not want to be photographed or filmed to stay out of the picture.